


Blinking Cursor

by Salty_but_Sweet



Category: Digimon - All Media Types
Genre: After 02/tri, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Gen, Luckily Angemon is having none of it, Takeru has some issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 16:08:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15440736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salty_but_Sweet/pseuds/Salty_but_Sweet
Summary: "After speaking with Leomon the Chosen Children decided to leave towards Infinity Mountain…" Until that, it was manageable, unfortunately, what came after, might have been the most difficult piece of writing Takeru had ever had to work on.





	Blinking Cursor

**Author's Note:**

> Back in 2014, I finally got my hands on the drama CD of the 02 characters' lives in spring 2003. I wanted to write my own version of how Takeru might have dealt with having to write about Angemon and Devimon's fight.
> 
> Disclaimer: Digimon belongs to Toei Animation and Bandai.

_After speaking with Leomon the Chosen Children decided to leave towards Infinity Mountain…_

That sentence had been driving Takeru near to insanity for the past few weeks. It held his thoughts captive for the most of his time awake, it made catching sleep difficult and even haunted his dreams.

His writing project was nearly finished. He had already interviewed all the other Chosen and some of the Digimons, as well as revised chapters many times over, but still, he hadn't been able to write about the incident at Infinity Mountain, more specifically the battle between Angemon and Devimon.

Even when he had first started to write, he had postponed the task. His main motivation to start writing in his early teen years had been his desire to write down as much as possible when he was still able to remember everything vividly. However, with Infinity Mountain he had known that he remembered everything too vividly – he would need distance to be able to write about. But, even time hadn't given him enough distance. On top of that, his publishing schedule didn't help the matter, his book had been postponed for several occasions, but for the last two times it had all come down to his inability to deal with the event.

His constant pondering seemed to only make things worse.

He was getting desperate.

And more than that, he was getting angry at himself for his inability to handle the problem.

_After speaking with Leomon the Chosen Children decided to leave towards Infinity Mountain…_

Takeru could only stare blankly at the sentence. Nothing moved inside his head, but every possible emotion seemed to move inside his heart.

_After speaking with Leomon the Chosen Children decided to leave towards Infinity Mountain…_

Takeru voiced the sentence in his head, his lips moving ever so slightly as he tried to grasp the inspiration.

_Inspiration?_

How was one supposed to have an inspiration to write about something like that?

For the fourth time in the last 20 minutes, his hands hovered lightly over the keyboard.

He had even rented a cabin and spent there a couple of days in hopes of being able to concentrate better.

However, his hope had been turning more of a wish with each passing day.

In the past six to seven months he had even asked Taichi and Joe to re-tell their versions of the incident. He hadn't gone to his brother, because he didn't want to worry him too much with his own problems. And apart from that, he knew that his close to death experience had been tough on Yamato as well. Taichi, on the other hand, was Taichi, and from some unspoken agreement between the two older brothers, they tried not to give too brotherly advice to each other's siblings anymore. Joe instead was a good choice because he tended to think things through before saying his opinions, plus overall he was a calm and understanding person to speak with.

However, neither of the conversations had helped him at all. The only thing he had learned from them, was that other's interpretations weren't even close to what he had been feeling – how he was still feeling.

_After speaking with Leomon the Chosen Children decided to leave towards Infinity Mountain…_

He had to get it just right.

He had to…

… do justice towards Angemon.

Takeru finally broke his sentence staring, and lowered his gaze a little, as memories flooded his mind.

_Angemon._

Patamon had naturally come with him to the trip, but the small Digimon had also given him the space he seemed to need. In general, it was very rare for Patamon to interfere with his writing process. His companion was, of course, interested in his story, and maybe even a little honored that Takeru had wanted to take up the task and improve people's understanding of the Digital world.

Takeru started the staring contest again.

After three more futile attempts to get even a single new sentence on the screen, Takeru gave a long sigh and let his head drop to his chest.

He couldn't take this.

He just… Takeru grabbed a workbook from the desktop, threw it across the room and stormed out.

Patamon, who had the whole time been lain on the bed across the small room, was left staring at the blinking cursor on the screen.

The small Digimon had surveyed Takeru's increasing writer's block for quite some time, getting more and more worried over his friend's (mental) health if this was going to continue.

Takeru hadn't really opened up about his problem, and Patamon had tried not to press it. However, Patamon was starting to feel more inclined to force it out of Takeru, because this really couldn't be good for him.

Patamon flew to the door that was left open after Takeru's dash outside. He immediately spotted his partner; Takeru was leaning his elbows on the porch's railing with his head in his hands. The orange Digimon flew next to him and sat down on the railing, considering what to say.

The Patamon watched the scenery towards the lake, which was sparkling in the light of the early moon. Patamon felt the breeze in his ears and took a deep breath of the moist air.

Takeru never really managed to be mad around his friend. Even less with the thoughts that were raging in his head. Seeing Patamon enjoying the late evening made him feel at least a little bit warmer inside.

"Don't you think that you should talk about it?" Patamon asked, still watching the scenery.

After a long silence, Takeru voiced his doubts sighing, "I don't know."

"I meant with Angemon." Patamon explained.

Takeru tensed, his friend's suggestion throwing him completely of the loop.

Patamon didn't normally refer to himself in a 3rd persona, but even in his child-stage, he did know that right now Takeru could be benefited from speaking to his little bit more mature and wiser adult self. And maybe talking to _Angemon_ would help him to deal with the issue as well.

Takeru wasn't so sure about the idea, but he wasn't to start a row with Patamon knowing the Digimon could also be pretty persistent when needed to be. On the other hand, he didn't want to face Angemon, he didn't want to face his own mistakes and he certainly didn't want to seem like a helpless little kid – again.

Rather reluctantly he gave Patamon a small nod. After a brief flash, Angemon was standing next to him, mimicking his posture by leaning on the porch's rail.

Their size difference, or nowadays the lack of It, was rather striking, but not in a bad way. If he had fitted easily on Angemon's arms during their first trip to the Digital World, now Takeru had grown just a little shorter than his companion. He wasn't anymore 'just the kid who needed to be protected', and they had become more equal in their relationship – equally mature. Even though with Patamon, Takeru had managed to keep his good-willed nature mostly intact.

Angemon surveyed him for some time. "You shouldn't keep things bottled up like this." He started with his steady voice, earning a sigh from his friend.

"I don't know how to let it out", Takeru commented tiredly, albeit with a small smile on his lips.

"You have been able to describe everything else", his friend stated, trying to make him see the facts.

"Yes. But that was different."

"How?"

How was it different? It was different. Takeru just didn't know how to express it.

"You died." It wasn't really an answer to Angemon's question, just a statement.

"So?" Angemon asked as if not seeing the problem. Takeru always managed to be slightly surprised how steadfastly Angemon was able to handle almost everything.

After Takeru hadn't been able to come up with a response, Angemon continued, "I promised that we would see each other again", surveying his reaction.

"You shouldn't have needed to die in the first place." Takeru commented frustrated. "I should have let you evolve earlier."

"We can't know if it would have made a difference." Angemon challenged softly. "You know, you hold no debt towards me. I don't regret my actions, because Devimon needed to be destroyed, you know that as well as I do. However, I do regret the scars you're carrying with you."

Takeru was still staring at the scenery before them, but Angemon knew his partner's mind was too filled with thoughts for him to really see any of it.

"They won't understand it." Takeru finally confessed quietly. "It won't affect them."

Angemon fought the urge for a small laugh. "I didn't do it to impress humans I have never met. I did it to save your life, to help and save both worlds from darkness. …And it doesn't really matter whether someone out there care's about my faith, your caring is what matters. Besides, I already know you care, and I would have known it _without_ your distress over this process." Angemon concluded reassuringly, although a barest hint of friendly exasperation could be distinguished from his voice.

"I'll always care", Takeru responded quietly, the gravity of his expression adding the meaning of his words.

Angemon gave him a warm, understanding smile.

* * *

The two friends stood next to each other, enjoying the late evening and the calmness it brought with it.

Later, when they receded back to the cabin, Takeru changed to his nightclothes.

"Aren't you going to write?" Patamon asked.

"No, I think I'm good. I'll write tomorrow." Takeru said calmly as he, for the first time in many months, was able to turn off the computer with indifference.

While Takeru was pulling the blankets over himself, he watched contentedly as his small friend fell asleep.

_After speaking with Leomon the Chosen Children decided to leave towards Infinity Mountain, beat Devimon and stand together through everything that would come in their way._


End file.
